<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Funky Town By Hurricane Bady by HurricaneBady</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25540078">Funky Town By Hurricane Bady</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HurricaneBady/pseuds/HurricaneBady'>HurricaneBady</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Team Fortress 2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Joke Fic, M/M, PogChamp, Sex, Uhm, blowjob, dear god please help me, im kinda tipsy right now, sex writen by a asexual virgin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:35:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,393</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25540078</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HurricaneBady/pseuds/HurricaneBady</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>engier got spy toubles but someone came save day. engie want to give thank man.</p><p>(first fanfic made and first one posting here. Is a joke fic if you cant tell)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Engineer/Soldier (Team Fortress 2)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Funky Town: A TF2 Soldier/Engineer NSFW Parody Contest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Funky Town By Hurricane Bady</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I read a fic that was so fucking funny. made me want to write one as well. This was in a contest thingie in a discord server. uh, I cant expklane Im so tired</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Team fortress 2 enginer red was on the Upper map placing sentry on last point as the match is the startening of fight. Today was a normal day. The burds on the high wood things on the Upper map were singing a song of the burds. Enginer liked this amd how it felt on hes ears. He lokk outside and all the pants on the ground were dead and brown. But this is the deadsurt and deadsurts have full of dead pants on the ground so engiener felt goods again like before  and went back to his buildings.</p><p>He wacked and wacked his sentry with Rench. Thinkening the food of what he ated and what he will eat later after frightening the Blue teams.. He will have beebeeqew after fighenting the blues. Yes. he likes beebeeqew a lot because it makes him feel like texas. He vaguely remembers someone yelling at him I WILL EAT YOUR RIBS I WILL EAT THEM ALL UP!!!! And it made him feel threatened.</p><p>“Hohn hohn hohn~” what who says that on the present of the enginer???? Engie looked around but saw nothing. hm mm strange. He builds teliport exet and watch it slowly builds on it owns…. Was is relaxing to see…</p><p>	“Hohn hohn hohn~~~~!!!” What who says that. That was louder than befour. Enginer looked behind and saw the spi!!! The spi had wearing a gibus hat and googles of the pyro vistion! He has knife raised to stab!!! No wiat he cant backstab him like that never mind the spy has the embassador and was gonna shot him in the head (the head on the sholders you dirty minded sluts). Engie wacked the spi with the recch but it was not enoug hon no what would he do!!!!!!!!</p><p>	The teliporter made noise and a human beaning came out of it. It was Sholder red from team fortres two!!! He saw gibus spy and shot his rocvkert at him! The spi exploded in bits like red rain and chum. It coverd both soldir and enginer but its okay they are already red.</p><p>	“Thanks pardner I would be goner…. Haha” Engine admired rockets the soldier cared on sholdir. Make him looking big and strong. Engine likes big musels.<br/>
“Engie it was a glad I made that I am happy to help a fellow american!” Solder then erected his spine and seluted.</p><p>	Enginer was glad to habe fellow american who is big and strong, and not a whinny wittle bitch who screams and cries every time he get hurt and calls medic. Soldr is a MAN. a man somewhere from in the middle america states. He has no idea where he is from. He should ask that sometimes later.</p><p>	Speaking of later, Engie decided to thank the soldier for poggers intervention of the killing the spi. He know exactly what to do.</p><p>	“Hey solja boy!” he slaped hand on solja’s solider. “How about I ah…. Fix up yer rocket for ya? After match over? Come to room at night” he gave sexy smile.</p><p>	“Okay” solder says.</p><p>…..</p><p>After fight was over in the Upper map (red won the fight for bomb). Solder grabed rocket he owns and head to engi. He like engie because he is american and smart ans those are two things go together very well. He is small though but compact full of meat and power. </p><p>As he walk in smart mans room and open door, he was shoked. Engineer was complete naked! Clothes on floor everywhere! Engie look at soldier with smirk!! Solder quickly close door behind, in case of any intruder unfortunate to see.</p><p>“Oh shit, I’m sorry” Soldier says. He hoped hes not intruding on anything.</p><p>“Sorry for whut?” Engineer paused a bit. “Our daddy taught us to not be ashamed of our dicks. Especially since they are such good size an’ all”</p><p>Soldier glanced down to take a look. He was impressed with the sight. “ Yeah I can see that. Your daddy gave you good advice.”</p><p>Engineer smirked. “It gets bigger when ah pull on it”</p><p>“mmMMMmm” Oddly, after Soldier hummed pleasantly, he heard a quiet ‘perfect’ somewhere. He has no idea where that voice came from, but he didint care.<br/>
“Sometimes” The engineer continued. “When I pull on it so hard, I rip the skin!” </p><p>“Well” Soldier glances down again and felt big in pant. “My daddy taught me a few things too. Like how not to rip the skin by using someone else's mouth, instead of your own hands.”</p><p>“Will you show me?” Engineer looked at him that almost seemed desperate.</p><p>Soldier gave the texan a playful smile. “Id be right happy too!”</p><p>But as Soler came to aproch the man, engie went stright for the kill. Soler was confused because short man ask for blowing his penus. But he didint mind. Engier groped soler by the balls and yanked him to bed. Bed was full of robot part and blueprints but it didint bother much. engier rubbs the mans baldge like he was polishing a gun and it made Soler feel big inside the pants.</p><p>Engier laughed as Soler huffed and puffed like big bad wolf from story. “Your enjoying this, yeah??” Solder cant use words and only grunted in agrement. Engie then gave big man fat wet smooch on lip. Solder leaned in and hug. Their tounges do the thing of whatever they do when people freanch kiss. </p><p>engier parted moths for a moment to laugh and say. “Hehh HAHAEH AA H! What is it? You knew to this or something?/”</p><p>Middle ammareican man wasint NEW to this sex!! HE HAS LOTS OF IT ALL THE TIME!! LIKE THAT ONE TIME HE ACEIDENTYLY SEXED PROSTITUDE!! AND DEMOLITIONS MANS FUCK. HES VERY GOOD ANF ENGIE CALLING HIM VIERHGER MADE HIM MAD!! IT MASDE ME MADF TOO !! GUCK YOU ENGIE I HATE YOU SO MUCH.</p><p>“ILL SHOW YOU WHOS KNEW, [insert offensive gay slur that was common in the 60’s]!!!!!!!” SOOLER YELLED.</p><p>SOLER GRABED ENGIE COCK AND JACKED IT SAVAGELY LIKE A SAVAGE. Unfortunately this was the wrong way to do and all it did was hurt. Engir yelled in pain.</p><p>“The fuck! You freak! Dont go apeshit over my penus!”</p><p>Enginer then ripped off Solder’s clothes like it was cristmus present and groped the penus and snaped it side ways playfuly. To show who boss. Solder scremed but in a good way because he was a Misogynist and liked the pain that he felt in hes penus. After more begging from the soldir enginer decedes to shove finer up penus hole. Felt good. Very good. Solder came as engie pull out. Here “GOD BLESS AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAA OF THE UNITED STATES” he camed saying. This pleases the enginer very much so.</p><p>“Now suck mah COck you peace of fuckslut” Enginer shot at him.</p><p>“Aight then” Soldr groped enginer Cock and bit onto it for good hold. And licked with tonuge. Taste like saltie sardines and milk? Solder okay with this.</p><p>“lick faster” say engi and Soldr does so.</p><p>AH! AH! AH! YES SHIT! EAT MY COCK LIKE BARBEEQEW RIBS ON A FRIDAY! SUCK IT CLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!” He then nutts and shot directly in mouth.</p><p>Solder didint reality know what to do with the cum??? The only time he did fucking with man before was with the Demonstrations man and they used condom because safe sex is best sex. The cum tasted like sweat and armpit, So he spat the cum out. Unfortunately, the nutt hit some blueprents that engier was useing for work. Engie, after orgazim, notices it and got piss.</p><p>“You! I spent whole day of sweat and blood on my work for jump pad matchene! All ruined!”</p><p>Soldir scofed at this. “Men dont need blue paper! Just build it stright away! Pussy!”</p><p>Engir got bad thoughts on to do to Soldier and his anus. But he was tired from nutt. He will do this later. He cuddled soldier, and ohio man cuddle back. Things are good. They smooch. Then everything go dark and wet.</p><p>What the ydid not know is that the scout room, right next door of engie room, was awake and wanted to die from hearing everything. He want death. He will never be the same. He hates everyone here so much. Why cant they be normal fucking people and fuck in the woods or something. The end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>what am I doing</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>